nerdy & flirty30/12/2009
Now, if only I could photoshop a chimney into what he was looking down at…
Photo posted at 03:18
I saw this on clearance at Target, and I couldn’t help myself. My dad thinks it awful I dress him up as a girl, but he looks so cute in pink. (It’ll make a good Christmas card for next year!) I also bought a red set that I’m planning to bring back to Boston for a photoshoot with Duke. Snowball doesn’t mind the collar, it’s just the hat which gets to him. Tomorrow, my mom is throwing a party, and she told me to dress Snowball up in just the pink collar. I think he will be the highlight of her party.
Photo posted at 03:16
29/12/2009
thoughts on closure
My biggest regret— but my best mistake— was dating the first guy I met from MIT. I’m absolutely certain that I loved him, but I was also terribly young and prone to immaturity. I started dating him before I even got to campus, and it was during the phase where I was just an “entitled” prefrosh who thought I had, and deserved, it all. Deserving and having are two entirely different concepts, and most people who have, don’t deserve, or vice versa. Except, I didn’t realize that.
I don’t want to get into the logistics of the breakup or the “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve” that I’ve gained from the rest of my dating experience at the Institute. It would be disrespectful to him and what we shared to spill all those details.
However, I do want to say that I forgive myself, and I know that he forgives me also. For the longest time after the relationship, I sought closure. I tried to contact him several times in an effort to get it. I had this silly little idea that if we could talk one more time, we could get everything out there, and I could finally move on. Maybe, this works for some people, but it didn’t work for me. It just made everything worse.
There are some unanswered questions that are supposed to be that way. Finding out details about the past that were unspoken usually adds unnecessary pain, and now I realize that the big question is, if I answer my curiosity, will it really help me? And, the answer to that question is usually not. It’s usually not going to help to hear that someone misses you after a breakup. It usually won’t let you get back together— and even if it does, it often doesn’t last.
You have to find closure from yourself, not from comparing notes. Forgive and move on. Nowadays, I’m on speaking terms with him, but it didn’t happen until I contacted him when I had finally moved on, and when I wasn’t trying to selfishly use him to get myself to this point.
In my experience, closure is the most difficult part of a breakup. And in some ways, it never fully happens. I remember asking one ex if he was “over” me, and he answered, “if being over you means never thinking about you, then no, I’m not even close to over you.” I will never reach the point in my life where I don’t think about people I truly cared about, even if they’re no longer in my life. However, it’s possible to reach the point where you truly appreciate and cherish what you had, but you’re moving forward without the person you cherish.
If you’re thinking that you can get closure from an ex, it doesn’t work that way. It’s selfish to want a friendship for the pure sake of making yourself feel better about the breakup. If you truly cherish what you had, then you have to let your ex go, and learn to love yourself as much as your ex loved you. People make mistakes, so forgive yourself or forgive your ex if you’re the one that’s bitter. Trust me, it’s actually a lot easier than torturing yourself over why the breakup shouldn’t have happened.
Text posted at 03:02
28/12/2009
This shirt brings up so much nostalgia.
I went to Huntington High School, whose rival is Cabell Midland High School. Their football team is usually better, but our basketball team usually kicks their ass (especially when OJ Mayo joined the basketball team, my senior year.) So of course, for the games, there’s always witty shirts that go around. These were banned from being worn at the game for being too offensive. However, they’re way more clever and witty than the “muck fidland” and “huck funtington” shirts you usually see. Midland is in the middle of nowhere (Ona), and they have a very active young farmer’s of America group or whatever it’s called. Their mascot is a knight.
And sadly, throughout high school at either school, bestiality is something that you hear about…
Photo posted at 15:40
Silly puppy.
My mom always gets angry at the fact she knocks down her sofa cushion to turn it into a blanket.
Photo posted at 13:47
23/12/2009
Campus on Monday.
After finals, I guess MIT doesn’t care nearly as much about shoveling the snow. I had to go into lab, and the tiniest section of the stairs to MIT Medical was shoveled. It was as if they expected only grad students to have to go to building 68, and they made a small patch for this to be possible…
At least, I didn’t fall?
And, yes, as to be expected, all the grad students in my lab showed up to work…
Photo posted at 20:58
Found this Yale shirt while cleaning my room.
I’m finally back in West Virginia, after taking four connections because of the snowstorm…
West Virginia only gets like 25 planes in and out of the airport per day, and the US Airways DC to Charleston plane had major “maintenance” issues. The planes are little propeller jets that are unreliable, and Duke is absolutely terrified of them (for good reason also.)
I was expecting this to happen and ended up on the original flight I debated on buying…with an extra two connections just to get to Charlotte to take this flight.
Moral to the story: just because Google is offering free internet does not mean you should fly through DC when every time you have something bad has happened…even if it’s just DC usually losing your luggage.
It’s so good to be home, and I’m so glad classes are done. However, I’m lamenting this short break because I start an internship on the 4th.
Photo posted at 20:52
20/12/2009
(via inboxzero, xtenacious)
Photo posted at 18:00
(via xtenacious)
Quote posted at 01:28
19/12/2009
Just finished watching all of Gankutsuou. I thought the series was amazing and couldn’t stop watching. I’ve posted a few pictures to show how beautiful the animation is.
The story itself is based on the tale of the Count of Monte Cristo. It takes place thousands of years in the future where space travel is possible but still focuses primarily on the interactions between a number of aristocrats. A story of love, betrayal and revenge. Definitely one of the better anime I have seen lately.
This is my sister’s favorite anime.
I can’t remember how, but she bribed me to watch it. I couldn’t bear it at first because of the art, but there’s one episode (I want to say 8 or 12, but its been a long time) that just took my breath away. And now, I’ve come to appreciate the animation. This was a great series, and it made me cry. I still prefer the more shojo types of anime though, although coming to MIT has made me watch substantially less television (and not really because I don’t have time either, but it’s usually because when I watch TV, I’m at a frat…watching some awful dude’s version of Sex and the City that’s pretty much softcore porn.)
Photo posted at 16:28
16/12/2009
» I Saw You MIT
How did I not discover this until after finals?!
I never know how I should feel about these sites, but they make good procrastination tools.
Link posted at 21:51
15/12/2009
Mary Elizabeth Williams, Tiger Woods Nails Our Culture
Quote posted at 10:46
12/12/2009
» Continuity Game
Jigsaw puzzles + action, uh, how could I resist when it came to figuring out ways to procrastinate studying for finals…
Link posted at 23:30
08/12/2009
Stolen from the Tech’s e-mail server, Gnome Chomosky.
(Is it bad that I would buy it if it weren’t for the steep price tag? Especially considering the fact that I have no garden, which is why I kind of miss living in the South.)
Photo posted at 23:01
Helping someone Christmas shop at the Coop.
Photo posted at 17:04
